I know I haven't been on here so much due to some trust issues I have with so many people, in reality and social media. And that I've been suffering so many loses this year that I regret taking a single breath to live and see it go away. I'm still healing really slowly and I'm not getting much support from the world as it is. My ties from my sister, mom, aunts were cut off immediately. My mom will talk to me, just not that much like she used to. :< But this year isn't over yet and I know it isn't going to get better.
I'm suffering from partial memory loss and athazagoraphobia. Combined with my now weakening immune system, asthma, and anxiety.... I'm just a ticking time bomb that can go off any second. My memory isn't that good anymore, I forget easily and my mind goes blank on so many things. It might cause me to drop out of college because I can barely remember a lesson at all. As for the athazagoraphobia, I really hate being alone. I need someone to talk to or even rp everyday. It makes me feel less lonely in the world. If I can't get a hold of anyone, I get sad immediately that it sometimes goes to depression and me thinking that everyone would be fine without me being born. I've always had asthma and anxiety attacks. It scares me so much because I stiff up and my body goes numb a bit. It feel like my body wants to die on me. Maybe the 4th time will kill. (Yes I almost died 3 times in my life. It started before I was born.) Going back to the memory thing-> If I can't remember what someone said or who you are, please show me some info so I can get the idea of what you're saying. I really don't want to forget who any of my friends are. As I'm typing this right now, I'm shaking so badly that my entire body aches. I'm nervous wreck right now.
As for my art, I'm sorry if I lied saying it was going to be posted on whatever date I said. I forgot that I even wrote on here on that day. I'll try to post it up on this Friday. I hope to keep my promise on that. There's so much I've drawn that it might go past my 1,000 deviation (at least I think I'm close to it. Idk, I think I was somewhere in the 800s). Everyone got their new looks, new characters, some even got new names, a few pictures of my new look (I look a little different) and is ready to be posted up.
Please support me on this. This is really hard to get through this year. I would really like some support or something from my friends please.